What should we teach our boys?

 What should we teach our boys?

I do not at all believe in imposing one’s choices, decisions, and understanding on their child. Instead of striking them with ‘the right things’ and ‘the wrong things’, why not just tell them about things and let them let them decide what is appropriate for them or what isn’t.

Between the uncertainties of right and wrong lies the basic lessons. As a parent, guardian or a person we must feel accountable towards teaching these basic lessons.

1. Difference between good touch and bad touch

Boys also go through abuse, harassment and what not, at a very early age. Most of the times it when such horrible crimes happen, they aren’t aware or mentally mature to understand.

Teach them the difference between a normal touch or a wrong touch. Make them aware of their right to say ‘no’ to any touch that feels inappropriate, scary, unsafe, or uncomfortable.

2. Consent 

Teach them that their as well as others consent matters. Make them learn the significance of their consent. They have the right to approve or disapprove as they please, anytime and for anything. Nobody else has a right over them for them.

Likewise, they need to respect and accept other’s rights to approve and disapprove regarding any matter.

3. Male privilege

Sad truth, male privilege does exist. Surely, some of you must be offended or defensive of the statement.

I hope you are assertive of accepting the facts and being right is secondary to you.

There is an abundantly prevalent term ‘female infanticide’ in India to consequence of which, ‘Beti Bachao Beti Padhao’ was launched. [ never heard of ‘male infanticide’…just mentioning in case you choose to claim male privilege doesn’t exist]

Why do you even need such schemes?Because patriarchy mentality needs males, females are not worth it.

We need schemes now to protect females.

Another example of male privilege in case you need to cool down your blood’s temperature: BOYS WILL BE BOYS BUT GIRLS NEED TO ACT LIKE A LADY. 

Teach your boys about the unfair advantages they have and how not to use them against the opposite gender.

4. Sex education

Normalise sex and sexuality talk in your household. Fill them with the basic facts and their rights. Be open and honest about every conversation with them. Teach them not to be embarrassed to talk about it.

Also read: What should we teach our girls?

5. They are accountable for their own actions

No abnormal or sexist behaviour can be tolerated. ‘boys will be boys’ is merely another custom to favour patriarchy. Almost all of the mistakes or unbearable behaviour of males are defined using ‘boys will be boys’ or ‘men will be men’.

Boys will not be boys if they are hold accountable for their actions.

The whole statement ‘boys will be boys’ sounds sexist but that’s not the real problem, it is its inappropriate use to favour patriarchy.

No girl has to tolerate or convince herself of ‘boys will be boys’ and no boy has to convince himself with mere a statement to define his actions.

Also read: lessons to learn

6. She isn’t an object

Tell them that the opposite gender is not a beauty object to flaunt among your peers or some sex object to offer you pleasure. She is somebody and deserves as much as dignity as you.

Make sure they don’t ever objectify or sexualize her.

Teach them how not to be superior and inferior to them.

Make sure to tell them how they look at somebody reflects who they are.

7. End gender roles

Never in your household use phrases that signifies a gender role. Do ask for household help from your boys. Never let them distinguish between work as ‘male work’ or ‘female work’.

There is no gender specific set of activities or traits. They can cry, express themselves, dress as they please etc.

They can do anything that is considered as feminine because, terms like ‘manly’ or ‘feminine’ are non-existential. 

Also read: why do Indian serial suck?

8. Do not tolerate SHIT or become a catalyst

Here, SHIT refers to patriarchy, it’s spineless customs, inappropriate behaviour, oppression, sexist jokes etc.

Do not endure any SHIT and do not promote it at all. As a person, it’s your responsibility not to catalyse the wrong.

Oppose, fight, and stand up for yourself.

Also read: What should we teach our girls?

Let me know what you think is necessary to teach our boys. Comment below