What should we teach our girls?
What should we teach our girls?
In point of fact, we can’t change the deep-seated sick patriarchal mentality of our society, but one can be a change at their own level.
I do not at all believe in imposing one’s choices, decisions, and understanding on their child. Instead of striking them with ‘the right things’ and ‘the wrong things’, why not just tell them about things and let them let them decide what is appropriate for them or what isn’t.
Between the uncertainties of right and wrong lies the basic lessons. As a parent, guardian or a person we must feel accountable towards teaching these basic lessons.
1. She is somebody too and it's not her job to please everyone
She isn’t somebody’s daughter, wife, sister, mother, …
She is somebody.
She doesn’t have to be somebody’s perfect someone. She needs to be herself only.
There are no such words like ‘a good girl’, ‘a good wife’, ‘a good daughter’, ‘a good daughter-in-law’… and so on. She doesn’t need to fit in the patriarchal norm of ‘how a girl should be and should not be?’.
You are a human not merely someone’s side role play. Before trying to be somebody’s perfect someone, try to be yourself.
2. Your tolerance, sacrifice and suffering don’t define your self-worth
Patriarchy informs us that a female’s true strength is measured by how much she allows to sacrifice, suffer, and tolerate.
Be the variation to the oblivion inheritance of patriarchal customs.
Teach your girl that her self-worth isn’t defined by any sort of toxic custom or anything. She doesn’t need to put herself down to please anyone or to define her worth.
3. Difference between good touch and bad touch
A majority of girls go through abuse, harassment and what not, at a very early age. Most of the times it when such horrible crimes happen, they aren’t aware or mentally mature to understand.
Teach them the difference between a normal touch or a wrong touch. Make them aware of their right to say ‘no’ to any touch that feels inappropriate, scary, unsafe, or uncomfortable.
Tell them their bodies belongs to themselves and none can do anything with them. Make them aware regarding Pornography and Sexting .
4. Sex education
Normalise sex and sexuality talk in your household. Fill them with the basic facts and their rights. Be open and honest about every conversation with them. Teach them not to be embarrassed to talk about it.
5. Boys will not be boys
No abnormal or sexist behaviour can be tolerated. ‘boys will be boys’ is merely another custom to favour patriarchy. Almost all of the mistakes or unbearable behaviour of males are defined using ‘boys will be boys’ or ‘men will be men’.
Boys will not be boys if they are hold accountable for their actions.
The whole statement ‘boys will be boys’ sounds sexist but that’s not the real problem, it is its inappropriate use to favour patriarchy.
No girl has to tolerate or convince herself of ‘boys will be boys’.
6. Nothing is disgusting about you
A Latin proverb says, “Nothing that is natural is disgraceful.” Indirectly indicating that nobody got a right to feel disgusted about themselves.
Normalise menstruation and don’t be ashamed of it. Eradicate the stigma around it. Be the change. Teach your girls that every ounce of their bodies, their life, and choices aren’t unworthy of love and appreciation. Teach them to cherish themselves even when the whole world is at war with them.
7. Do not tolerate SHIT and stand up for yourself
Here, SHIT refers to patriarchy, it’s spineless customs, inappropriate behaviour, oppression, sexist jokes etc.
Do not endure any SHIT.
Oppose, fight, and stand up for yourself.
8. Independence
A quantity of female is dependant by choice which is okay.
But it seems to me not okay. Don’t get me wrong. Obviously, it’s all about their choice.
I believe being independent is not a choice but necessity. Who gets to decide the roles as per gender?
Every single being should be independent in order to balance the society scales. Inequality leads to diagonally slanting of one group of beings.
That’s a necessity, a basic one.
9. Her consent matters and so her right to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’
Make them learn the significance of their consent. They have the right to approve or disapprove as they please, anytime and for anything. Nobody else has a right over them for them. Even if you and someone have had sex for 100 times, you still got the right to say ‘no’ 101st time.
Don’t do anything that you don’t want to do.
10. Nothing or nobody can define their character
No piece of cloth, her body, her life choices, or anything, literally anything can’t define her character.
I could come up with these many reasons only. I am sure that there are n number of things that I am missing too but just can’t think of any right in the moment.
If you can come up with something new, let me know in the comment section:)
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